Are these humans? Of Freemasons?

Hearing Voices shook me up BAD

Hey I’m new here but I have some massive anxiety based on my experiences hearing voices. I feel isolated and I’m so glad I found this group, so here’s my first post.

I’m on meds now and the voices are gone thank God. But I believe there is an invisible world of “beings” or “spirits” that watch us and that scares me. I feel there is NO privacy. That is the worst part.

Even though I can’t hear them anymore, it built this worldview that us living human beings are the “show” and all the dead spirits surround us and secretly watch us like voyeurism or entertainment, and when you die, you get to secretly watch future generations. And jokes on us, because we’re oblivious to it.

I am embarrassed and ashamed, I don’t act silly anymore and I never sing out loud. Because when I did hear the voices, they were cruel and judgemental and hypercritical. I was powerless and they could see me in the shower, and shamed me. They shamed me for things I did in the past, things I regret. They could hear my thoughts, and I could keep nothing from them. They could ” control” my thoughts because they would bring up a subject matter, and my mind would helplessly dwell there, much to their delight. They enjoyed seeing me suffering. They tortured me for days and days on end nonstop neverending hell about for example my sex life, things I am ashamed of, my most intimate moments, when I was most vulnerable. And they would push my buttons and enjoy themselves. I have never experienced anything more terrible than the (what’s that thing where police (aka the spirits) want you to confess and there’s a spotlight on you and they break you down until you break) … interrogation??

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I am so shaken that I hardly leave my house for the past 4+/- years, I have zero friends and am rly insecure. I’m 30 female. I start talking and accidentally reveal one red flag after the next. Rejection makes it worse and it’s a vicious cycle. I desperately crave friendships like a rabid wolf, and desperation is a turnoff, especially the fact that I have no other friends…

Positives: I have a rock solid family support system and look forward to my weekly psychiatrist appt and she knows me better than anyone in the world. I have a dog and a cat. I have talents and things I’m proud of. I love swimming and being in nature. My life is good.

I want to say so much more, but I’ll stop here for my first post.

It depends on the person what they say and how they say it.

My voices are purely external, so not in my own head at all but they sound like they’re coming from next to me. The content ranges from really cruel and evil (“you stupid fat bitch!” or “this is how you’ll be tortured in hell… First they’ll burn out your eyes…”) to really sweet and wonderful (“you’re my best friend!” “don’t ever leave me…”) but they’re mainly nonsense sentences (“the queen walked to the waterways.” “do the ritual as we agreed upon.”)

how do you keep calm when you keep hearing voices?

i get easily agitated when they keep talking and telling me what to do, even though it’s not actually bad. i get aggitated because they get critical if i think something weird or stupid, and then i have to think at a much slower rate to figure out what i’m trying to convey since my memory isn’t as good and i get unwanted thoughts plus twitches or random phrases passing through.

they just say i’m sick of you and stop smoking. i don’t want to even though i should because i get stressed easily every time i hear a voice similar to “the voices” i hear. i assume they’re going to start listening and spending all their time just watxhing and listening to me.

i just snap and it’s hard to calm down unless i write but i can’t do that all the time.

other times they claim that they want respect, but for me it’s when i remember the times that they were critical over simple things. they could have just been upfront and said don’t do this because blah blah and now because i can’t even trust that they’re just trying to make me grow up or whatever, i just think that there’s a hidden motive. it’s because they like to “make stories” or they say i am but they add stuff or say something to make me think it since i repeat sometimes.

what do you do to stop thinking that you’re ob surveillance 24/7?

I hear the voices exactly as you describe it. It feels silly trying to explain it to someone who doesn’t know what its like. So I’m happy there are forums where we can share our experiences and I don’t feel so crazy and alone. When my voices talk, I feel their breath in my ear like you described. I also sometimes feel their touch on my skin. THey will shake the bed to wake me up in the middle of the night and just disturb my sleep. The less I sleep the stronger they get. They sometimes jump on me when I am lying down and it feels just like a person jumping on you. Its very real to me. Sometimes when I am sleeping they hover over me and put their faces very close to mine because they want to scare me. If I open my eyes I see them, they are there. I hate that. As for posting, this is my first ever time posting on reddit but on Facebook their are schizophrenic support pages and I say post as much as you need to to get the support you need.

9th February 2018

?; You don’t understand, Scott, you just lost your life because of Lizi. These cops hate junkies. Are you going to stop?
S: definitely
?: U will have to because you’re going to have to. Your going to jail for homocide; very soon
S: I feel that u are punishing yourself by observing me all the time. I also notice that you are humans again
?m: you’ll find out Scott that you’re dead
S: that would make u the same as me
?m: wrong. We’re better
S: because?
M? Scott u don’t understand
S: Is that my fault
M?: yes. U are a user, and we hate that
S: You remind me of skinheads
M? We’re the same. U just failed
S: am alone
M?: so are we
S: I apologise
M?: it’s your own fault. U are going down, 4 certain
S: I apologise.
M?: Dave is going to kill u when u get home scott
S: What will happen to hopey?
RT: Scott did you even try? S
S: try what?
RT: doing what we say
S: I don’t hear what u say
J: Scott when u get home i will tell u something about Dave
S: Dave who?
J: Dave McIntyre
S: but you don’t want to be seen
J: I lied to you and Dave last night
S: what about?
J: I don’t want to tell you in person
S: You are just vile

Hearing Voices

Sorry, I’m pretty new to reddit, so forgive the lack of formatting. I made a throwaway because I don’t want my normal reddit account to be associated with this (rather embarrassing) situation. It started when I was about 8, 8 years ago.i had gone to Chuck E Cheese with my sister and her friend that day. later that night, I went home and I had gone to my room to go to sleep. I slept for a few hours and woke up at around 3 in the morning, feeling what I didn’t know at the time was anxiety. all I knew is I felt kind of scared and nervous. I turned on my lights and sat on my bed, too nervous to go back to sleep. while I was sitting there, suddenly somebody started yelling at me. This part is really embarrassing and sounds funny, but is seriously what I heard. A man started yelling “GIVE ME THE TICKETS. GIVE ME THEM NOW. I WANT YOUR TICKETS. GIVE ME YOUR TICKETS NOW.”

The voice was really weird in the way that, I couldn’t tell if it was internal or external. I covered my ears but could still hear it very clearly. it was almost like my inner monologue was screaming at me very loud and my head started hurting and I started screaming and crying and then my parents came in and told me I had a bad dream. I stayed up for the rest of the night, too scared to fall asleep. That leads me too the reason I came to this sub.

A few minutes ago, I got up to brush my teeth, and I started feeling tense. then I slowly began hearing a voice. it started to yell “BRUSH YOUR TEETH NOW. I NEED YOU TO BRUSH TOUR TEETH” it’s kind of hard to explain. it’s like I couldn’t hear it, but I knew somebody was yelling at me and I was scared and I knew they were commanding me to brush my teeth, I could understand that, but I couldn’t understand the speech, I understood the command and the urgency and attitude. I’m sorry I know I am explaining this really badly I am just confused and scared. this happened a few minutes ago. the voices have stopped after a few minutes of yelling.

Hearing voices/Feeling like I’m being watched and conspired against

Hey all! So I need some help. Some background on me… i’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for years. I take an anti-depressant. I recently graduated college where I developed an adder all addiction. It was after about a year of being on this medication (and smoking marijuana) that I began to feel like I could hear my neighbors conspiring against me. Always yelling about me and how they wanted to have me arrested. Well it got so bad I had to have my parents pick me up and take me home one night because I thought my apartment was bugged and that the police were coming for me. I thought my laptop AND phone were tapped.

After I left the apartment and reset my phone to factory settings and was still hearing voices I thought they were coming from my hair-ties. Now I have been off the adderall and marijuana for several months and am still hearing the voices. They always imitate people I know such as my neighbors or fellow co-workers and they are always bad voices talking about how they want to get me or what a horrible person I am, what a slut I used to be… Even as I write this I feel like I can hear my neighbors talking about it as if they have cameras in my house. I don’t know what to do about the voices because they are making me start to hate people even though I try to convince myself that they aren’t real. When I research my symptoms I keep coming across Schizophrenia.

I just want the voices to stop . My doctor put me on Rexulti for a month because he thought it would help but it never made them go away. Another thing– they are always constant and never go away ever. i hear them when I’m driving my car even and know that it would be impossible for me to be hearing people. Does anyone have any advice on what to do?? The latest problem I’m having is that I can hear them say they want to break into my house while I’m at work and kill or kidnap my cat because she constantly cries and because they hate me…HELP!!

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